Ask Pastor Bob > Questionable Pastor or My Flawed Personal Perspective?
Hi David,
I'm sorry for your unfortunate circumstances. As you said there are many sides to every story.
First I would say that I admire the church in question for the work they are doing. That would suggest to me that they are a good church.
In what you told me you are also a mature Christian and tried to do the right thing according to Matthew 18. So I'm puzzled as to the response of the pastor and people there.
If indeed you are a born again Christian you can take comfort in this; that nothing happens by accident and God will make everything turn out for your good.
Romans 8:27-28
And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
God allows trials to come into each of our lives for the purpose of strengthening us and glorifying Himself. If you are sure in your heart of having done the right thing then pray for God's guidance, for where he closes one door he will surely open another.
If there is sin on your part then simply pray for God's forgiveness and know that he will forgive sin and cleanse you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
God does indeed move in mysterious ways but one thing for sure, He loves you and wants only the very best for you. So rest in that, and be in prayer. Reject any root of bitterness and wait upon the Lord.
I know it is not always easy, but waiting on Him is always best.
1 Peter 1:7-8
That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: 8 Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
God bless,
Pastor Bob
Branden L. Phillips
Questionable Pastor or My Flawed Personal Perspective?
I live across the street from a church. Next door to the church is a house, funded by the church, that temporarily houses the homeless, people struggling with drug addictions, and various other personal issues that cause them financial disparity. The house has a morning prayer meeting, which I attended everyday, as well as a food ministry. I would help carry the loads of food, prepare, and deliver to the community. The 32 year old Pastor is the program director and leader.
I grew up in the church and have been a loyal and faithful follower of God for my entire life. I am 34 years old and have fallen short, as we all have, but God has never turned his back on me.
When I first started attending the prayer meetings/ services/ meal gatherings at the house, there was a young woman resident there (28 years old) that was very attractive, intelligent, and strong in her service to the Lord. She would often attempt to engage me in conversation and deliberately sit closely next to me when every chair in the sanctuary was available. I felt uncomfortable and always, discretely, moved to a different seat. 2 months later, a 46 year-old homeless man moved in. 10 weeks later, the same young woman and him were engaged to be married. After that, every time I entered the house, they would be in full embrace and kissing fervently (not totally inappropriate, but something I wouldn't want my children to see). I always diverted my gaze and focused on the Lord's work which I was there to do.
One day in the garden, I spoke to the young woman and said, "I am delighted that you found such a wonderful mate so quickly. If I would have asked you out when I had the chance, would I have possibly been as lucky as your God-sent fiance?" She replied, "Of course." I said, "Well, I suppose I will keep searching for my soulmate."
During the next 2 weeks, I started to feel a "cold shoulder" effect from certain members (especially females). I would try to join social conversations and be brushed off or ignored. Soon after, the Pastor confronted me and informed me that the young woman spoke to him in private and told him she was uncomfortable with the way I tried to hit on her. As this was not my intention, I wrote a letter of repentance and request for forgiveness (from the Lord and the people involved) and shared it at the next morning prayer meeting. That same afternoon, the Pastor and the young woman's fiance came to my home and told me not to return to the house for 2 weeks because they had to pray to ask God if He should allow me to go attend their services. The Pastor concluded the conversation saying, "If you try to tear my house apart, I will come here and tear you apart." I said, "Okay" and complied. From that day forward, the entire church congregation and neighborhood seemed different to me. Other believers that would normally stop by my house and say hello just walked by without even looking at me. I sent an email to a few local churches, sharing this story, and asking that they please do not reveal my email to the Pastor in question because I felt slightly threatened by this man. They, in turn, revealed the email to the Pastor.
After 3 weeks, I returned to the house to help with the Lord's work, as I always did, since I didn't receive word from the Pastor about the status of his prayers. The Pastor approached me and said, "You are not welcome here." I said, "Pastor, with all due respect, is this a house of God?" He replied, "You accused me of threatening you. Those were my employers and they can take my job away. Do you know what I'll do if you return? I'll call the police and have you arrested for trespassing." I said, "Okay. I will go in peace", but I left him with a message the Lord laid on my heart. "Pastor, my faith is in God. Who is your faith in?" I walked back to my home, with my head hung low, and will never return.
This is my story. We all know there are 2 (sometimes 3) sides to every story. If you wish to follow up, I will gladly put you in contact with the many others that are a part of this story.
God bless you.